Because once you reach the point in life when you can’t meet a woman at a bar anymore without dividing-by-two-plus-seven in the back of your mind you realize that the only way to go on living without resigning yourself to a lifetime of curling up in the fetal position in a corner of your apartment and sobbing alone to yourself while maniacally reciting Yeats’ “Sailing to Byzantium” over and over from memory is to go and get a little sentimental for the time you were still young, and once you do this you can let yourself off the hook every now and then and go out looking for torrents of Juliana Hatfield’s discography only to find that there’s only one seeder and two leechers and your client can’t find a single peer and then you earn yourself the distinct privilege to be all like fucking kids these days what the FUCK.

Matt Langer • Nostalgery